Turning Feelings in to Banana Bread

I bake when I’m stressed. There is something soothing about an act that seems almost second nature and allows me to focus on something other than my thoughts. I can angrily kneed, or haphazardly mix, or roll balls of dough while thinking about anything but the specific thing I don’t want to be thinking about.

I made banana bread tonight. My roommates are happy, I’ll have breakfast for a few days, and most importantly I got to focus my energy a little bit. I tend to get caught up in my own head. I overthink and overanalyze and overreact and over everything.  

Sometimes it’s helpful to channel all that…everything in to something a little more productive. After all, so much of my stress is caused by feeling like I’m not sure what to do. Taking that anxiety and channeling it in to something productive is so cathartic.

Last year, during a rather rough period of time, a friend and I baked the world’s largest batch of banana bread. Pans and pans and pans, more than anyone could ever eat. So we shared. We took all the fears and anxieties and pent up aggression and used it to create deliciousness that everyone could enjoy.

That’s all I want really. To take all the things I feel and somehow turn them in to things that other people can enjoy. I try to do it with words. I try to do it with pictures. Sometimes I try to do it with banana bread.

My apartment smells delicious.