I Fight Harder

Do you ever have a day where you feel like the world is spinning to fast and you have a million things to do, but all you want is to curl up in a blanket and drink tea and watch LOST? That was really specific, so probably not, but the general feeling is fairly universal. I'm in the middle of one of those weeks where it feels like everything is happening at once. I have so much to do and so many things to finish that i have no idea how I'm going to accomplish them all. Probably through a lack of sleep and an abundance of caffeine, honestly. 

So that's why today's post is going to be a little bit different. I don't think many people know that i write poetry. It's probably not a huge surprise, seeing how hard i tread in the area of full on emotion, but it's not something I talk about a lot. Today I thought I would share one of my poems. 

I Fight Harder

I sit awake tapping out novels about how i love you on my cell phone. About how much it means that you are in my life. I will never send any of them.

I lay on my back listening to the same song again and again. Headphones in, volume loud enough that i can’t hear the words of the people outside. Quiet enough that i am still sure they are there.

I spend a lot of time being conspicuously lonely. If i choose the loneliness then no one else can choose it for me.

I try so hard not to think about the last time we were together. How you softly pushed my hair back of my face and kissed me on the forehead. The secrets you whispered as we fell asleep.

Missing people is a lot like loving them, only infinitely more painful. The same longing, the same desire for closeness. The same emotions, with vastly different rewards.

I miss you and i love you. I wish your face was next to mine and our hands were interlocked. I want to tell you stories and hear you laugh. I want to watch you watch me smile.

Distance fights hard but i will fight harder. The struggle might be worth it, and that’s hope enough.